Overthinking & Sleeplessness Part II - Exploring Myths: Overthinking Is the Same as Planning

This is a very common and relatable myth—especially among high achievers, perfectionists, and anxious minds that confuse mental activity with productive action. Let's unpack this.

Myth #2: Overthinking Is the Same as Planning

Fact: Planning has structure and direction. Overthinking just loops.

They may look similar—both involve thinking ahead, imagining scenarios, and running through possibilities. But they operate very differently.

Planning	Overthinking
Has a beginning, middle, and end	Goes in circles, with no closure
Results in a clear next step	Leaves you more confused or anxious
Focused on taking action	Focused on avoiding mistakes
Leaves you feeling grounded	Leaves you feeling drained

Quick Self-Check:

Ask yourself:

“Am I creating a path forward?” → Planning
“Am I stuck in what-ifs?” → Overthinking

Insight from the Therapist:

Overthinking is often your brain’s way of feeling busy while avoiding emotional risk.
It mimics planning to feel safe—but it never lands.

So, what do you do?

To shift gears:

• Write down a simple, 4-step plan

• Set a timer: “I will think about this for 10 minutes only”

• Say: “Done for now. It’s safe to act, or rest.”

• Ground yourself with a physical activity

Scenario:
It’s 11:30 PM. You’re lying in bed thinking about a conversation you need to have—maybe with your spouse, child, parent, partner, or a friend. You keep rehearsing what to say, anticipating their reactions, adjusting your script... again and again. You tell yourself you're planning, but you're just spiraling. Sleep won’t come.

4-Step Plan to Stop the Spiral:

1. Name the Feeling, Not the Fix
   Say: “I’m feeling nervous because this really, really matters to me.”
   This doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. It also diffuses the pressure to “solve it now.”
   Remind yourself: Overthinking is draining me instead of helping me. .

2. Write Down Just One Clear Intention
   Instead of scripting the entire conversation, write one sentence like:
   “I want to be honest without hurting them.”
   That’s actual planning. It anchors you without forcing perfection.

3. Timebox It, Then Close the Loop
   Set a 5-minute timer. Use this time to think or write freely. When the timer ends, say:
   “This is enough for tonight. I’ll revisit it with a fresh mind.”
   Whether you’re writing or thinking, follow it with a closure ritual:

   • If writing, fold the paper and place it in a small box beside your bed.

   • If thinking, visualize putting the thought into a box and closing it.

4. Do Something Physical to Ground Yourself
   Stretch gently, sip some water, or dim the lights.
   Signal to your body: “It’s safe to rest now.”

"What you need is a decision—and the courage to follow it gently and to be okay with not getting it right immediately."

Overthinking and Sleeplessness Series Part I - Exploring Myths: Overthinking Cannot be Stopped

I’m writing this series on overthinking to help reframe the narrative around this common habit—not as a flaw, but as something that can be understood and managed.

We all do it.
A conversation replays in our head.
A decision loops endlessly.
Sleep disappears.

That’s overthinking.

But here’s the thing: overthinking isn’t just a bad habit—it’s often misunderstood.

In this post, let’s gently unpack some myths vs facts, so we can stop blaming ourselves—and start supporting ourselves.

Myth #1: “Overthinking cannot be stopped.”

Fact: Overthinking is usually a sign of emotional overload—and it can be managed.

So, why is it more than just “thinking too much”?

When you’re emotionally flooded or anxious, your brain tries to find safety by running scenarios. To the brain, this feels like control—but really, it’s just looping.

You’re not weak. You’re overwhelmed.
And your brain is trying to help, in the only way it knows how.

Think of it like a car stuck in the mud—spinning its wheels, trying to get traction. These tools help you step out of the spin and get back on solid ground.

You Are Not Your Brain

You’ve probably said “my brain” just like you say “my pencil.”
Why? Because you are not your brain.
That’s an important clue.

All jokes apart, the key is not to fight the thought or force it to stop.
The key is to gently disengage from the loop and return to yourself.

How do you do this?

Before you jump into tools, pause and ask yourself:

“What is the benefit of this thought loop?”

If there’s a benefit—maybe a plan forms—capture it.
Write it down. Then say this aloud to yourself:

“The thought is safe. I’ve stored the plan. It’s okay to rest now.”

But if the loop is just spinning without helping—try one of these gentle tools.

Important note: This isn’t a quick fix.

These strategies work—and they get stronger with practice. Like training a muscle.

1. The “Name It” Strategy

When a thought keeps looping, say aloud:

“Right now I’m having the thought that...”

Example:

“Right now I’m having the thought that I’ll mess this up.”

Why this helps:
This small phrase creates healthy distance. It reminds you: “I am not my thought.” You’re the observer—not the storm.

2. Finger Tapping + Affirmation

Tap each finger to your thumb while repeating a calming phrase:

“I am here... I am safe... This will pass... I can handle this.”

Why this helps:
This combines bilateral stimulation with self-soothing touch. It grounds you in the present moment.

3. Box Breathing (4x4x4x4 Method)

• Inhale for 4 counts

• Hold for 4

• Exhale for 4

• Hold for 4

Repeat for 2–3 minutes.

Why this helps:
It sends a rhythmic safety signal to your nervous system. Calm body = calm mind.

Start Where You Are

You don’t have to master all of this at once.
Just start with one.

Maybe tonight, when the loop begins, you’ll name it. Or tap your fingers. Or breathe into the pause.

You deserve peace—not pressure.

Start small. One breath, one thought, one choice at a time.

Hope this helps. Try one of these and let me know what shifts for you.
Your brain is busy—but you are still in charge.