This is a very common and relatable myth—especially among high achievers, perfectionists, and anxious minds that confuse mental activity with productive action. Let's unpack this.
Myth #2: Overthinking Is the Same as Planning
Fact: Planning has structure and direction. Overthinking just loops.
They may look similar—both involve thinking ahead, imagining scenarios, and running through possibilities. But they operate very differently.
Planning | Overthinking |
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Has a beginning, middle, and end | Goes in circles, with no closure |
Results in a clear next step | Leaves you more confused or anxious |
Focused on taking action | Focused on avoiding mistakes |
Leaves you feeling grounded | Leaves you feeling drained |
Quick Self-Check:
Ask yourself:
“Am I creating a path forward?” → Planning
“Am I stuck in what-ifs?” → Overthinking
Insight from the Therapist:
Overthinking is often your brain’s way of feeling busy while avoiding emotional risk.
It mimics planning to feel safe—but it never lands.
So, what do you do?
To shift gears:
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Write down a simple, 4-step plan
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Set a timer: “I will think about this for 10 minutes only”
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Say: “Done for now. It’s safe to act, or rest.”
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Ground yourself with a physical activity
Scenario:
It’s 11:30 PM. You’re lying in bed thinking about a conversation you need to have—maybe with your spouse, child, parent, partner, or a friend. You keep rehearsing what to say, anticipating their reactions, adjusting your script... again and again. You tell yourself you're planning, but you're just spiraling. Sleep won’t come.
4-Step Plan to Stop the Spiral:
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Name the Feeling, Not the Fix
Say: “I’m feeling nervous because this really, really matters to me.”
This doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. It also diffuses the pressure to “solve it now.”
Remind yourself: Overthinking is draining me instead of helping me. . -
Write Down Just One Clear Intention
Instead of scripting the entire conversation, write one sentence like:
“I want to be honest without hurting them.”
That’s actual planning. It anchors you without forcing perfection. -
Timebox It, Then Close the Loop
Set a 5-minute timer. Use this time to think or write freely. When the timer ends, say:
“This is enough for tonight. I’ll revisit it with a fresh mind.”
Whether you’re writing or thinking, follow it with a closure ritual:-
If writing, fold the paper and place it in a small box beside your bed.
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If thinking, visualize putting the thought into a box and closing it.
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Do Something Physical to Ground Yourself
Stretch gently, sip some water, or dim the lights.
Signal to your body: “It’s safe to rest now.”
"What you need is a decision—and the courage to follow it gently and to be okay with not getting it right immediately."
Exactly Bhavani.. This happens only at night when I am all ready to lie down. But then the thoughts keep me awake this leads to boredom and end up watching Tv/reels to amuse myself.. Then the same story of sleeplessness. A big THANKS for the insight on this. Shall try this
ReplyDeleteThank u Bhavani . U have explained so well . The tips to stop overthinking are excellent .
ReplyDeleteThank you akka for the insights about overthinking and being productive. This article is useful, I will apply the tips.
ReplyDeleteInteresting Bhavani. I think I've never pondered on those lines before. Overthinking does mostly happen when you've retired for the day (or so you think). It does disrupt sleep and leave you not feeling not very well rested the next morning. Your idea might be the solution. Let me try. Thanks for this 😊
ReplyDeleteDo keep us posted
DeleteThe table showing differences between planning and overthinking was really good, Bhavani.
ReplyDeleteYou have addressed a very common issue with good, simple solutions